GROW Coaching Model
Some limiting beliefs sound negative — those are easy to spot. The trickiest ones sound like strengths. Before choosing your belief, check whether one of yours is wearing a disguise:
| Sounds like a strength | May actually be | What it can cost |
|---|---|---|
| ✦“I have high standards.” | Perfectionism | Delayed decisions; a team afraid to ship |
| ✦“I'm just being responsible.” | Control | No succession; everything routes through you |
| ✦“I put my team first.” | Self-neglect | Burnout role-modeled as the culture's standard |
| ✦“I stay strong for everyone.” | Suppression | A team that senses strain but can't name it |
| ✦“I'm the expert — that's why I'm here.” | Certainty | Curiosity dies; other people's ideas get dismissed |
| ✦“I'm easy to work with — I don't rock the boat.” | Conflict avoidance | Issues fester; honest debate disappears |
💡 Click any row above to highlight and focus on that limiting belief disguise template.
“A belief is worth examining not because it's negative — but because of what it costs you and the people you lead.”
“I don't have any limiting beliefs” is in itself a limiting belief.
Why? It claims complete self-knowledge — yet our brains run on filters we can't see. It is also a fixed mindset about yourself: “I am finished learning who I am.” A growth mindset treats every belief as examinable and developable — growth begins where looking starts.
Our brains weight the negative (Baumeister et al., 2001) and confirm what we already believe (Nickerson, 1998) — yet beliefs are malleable (Dweck, 2006) and shape other people's performance (Rosenthal & Jacobson, 1968).
Complete this on your own before we open the breakout rooms. Bring forward what you have already surfaced in today's session:
Your “I am / Other people are / The world is” statements — which one is driving a behavior?
A belief you recognized in the limiting beliefs discussion
Or the table on page 1 — is one of yours wearing a disguise?
Here are example situations where beliefs often show up. Select any that feel familiar — then ask what belief is driving it:
Pick the belief with the highest cost — to you, or to the people you lead. That is your belief for this exercise.
What is the situation in your leadership where a limiting belief appears — and how does it shape how others experience you?
What is a belief you want to shift that affects your leadership — or the leadership brand you want to be known for?
Coach each other through the full GROW arc below
The GROW Model — developed by Sir John Whitmore, the pioneer of workplace coaching (Coaching for Performance, 2002) — is one of the world's most widely used coaching frameworks.
Use the live interactive workspace below to note down your breakout breakthroughs.
As a coach your role is to unlock your partner's thinking - not to solve their problem. Ask the questions, then listen. Be mindful of attempting to fix, problem solve or advise.
Stay curious, ask the question and hold pause. Your partner is resourceful and whole; they hold the answer.
This is coaching practice. If you feel the urge to jump in and advise – observe yourself - where else do you do that? Catch yourself! Do you hold beliefs about other people's resourcefulness, or about always needing to be the problem solver?
• What is a belief you can focus on that affects your leadership?
• What would shifting it make possible for you and your leadership brand?
• What's reinforcing this belief? What evidence do you have for it - and against it?
• What’s getting in the way of achieving this goal or moving forward?
• How could you test or shift this belief?
1. Reframe — an alternative belief that serves you and others better
2. Test — one small behavioral experiment
What 3 actions will you take to put this shift into practice?
Who else will feel this shift, and how? What changed?
| REFLECTION EXAMPLE — “If I don't do it myself, it won't be done well.” | |
|---|---|
| Situation | “I hesitate to delegate because I believe others won't do the task as well as I would.” |
| Goal | I want to shift my belief that work is only done well when I do it myself — it is limiting my team's growth as well as my own strategic positioning. |
| Reality | I believe that if I don't do it myself, it won't be done well. |
| Resistance | Past errors when I handed things off. |
| Options |
Reframe: leadership isn't about doing everything myself - it's about empowering others, even if mistakes happen. Let go of past fears and baggage of when things went wrong. |
| Way Forward | Delegate one task (I normally do myself) this week and reflect on the results. |
| Impact | The team member gains ownership and visible trust; I gain capacity for strategic work. |