Self-Awareness Foundation
Goleman's definition: Knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions - and how they affect others
- A)They believe they're engaged and enthusiastic
- B)They've simply never wondered why they do it
- C)They're not aware they do it at all
Main character energy. Underconfidence attempting to add value. No feedback loop to surface what others experience.
Social Awareness
Goleman's definition: The ability to sense others' emotions, understand their perspective and take an active interest in their concerns
- A)They believe they have been efficient and productive
- B)They are too focused on their own agenda to notice the other person's needs
- C)It never occurs to them to ask how the other person is actually doing
Trying to impress. Anxiety - they fill silence with their own content. Fixed agenda. Not developed listening, empathy or curious question skills. Lack of genuine curiosity about the other person's experience.
Self-Management
Goleman's definition: The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods and adapt to changing circumstances
- A)They believe they're being direct and honest
- B)They don't connect their emotional state to the impact of their response
- C)They think the problem is the situation - not how they're showing up in it
They value direct conversation. Already irritated with the person or situation. Unmanaged stress, lack of sleep, an argument at home already running in the background. No regulation habit between trigger and response.
Relationship Management
Goleman's definition: The ability to inspire, influence and develop others while managing conflict
- A)They see the role as transactional - a means to getting things done
- B)They are responding from their own value system rather than meeting them where they are
- C)They think rapport building is time consuming or unnecessary
Task and output focused by default. A belief that professional relationships should stay functional. A belief that rapport building is soft or inefficient. Never learned that trust is built in the small moments.